Then and Now : A "weighty" issue....

Let me start by saying that "weight" can be such a controversial topic.  We teach our kids that eating the wrong foods and laziness leads to obesity.  I DETEST the word obesity!! If you don't fit into the medical mold, they label you NOT just obese (because that word isn't UGLY enough already) BUT now you're called MORBIDLY OBESE!!  Morbid, really??

Here is the medical definition of morbid : morbidity /mor·bid·i·ty/ (mor-bid´it-e). 1. a diseased condition or state.

So being fat is a disease?  Not everyone who is overweight is unhealthy! I weighed in at a whopping 300 pounds just 2 years ago and I was healthy.  I did not have diabetes, high blood pressure OR bad choloesterol.  These things MAY have happened in the future, had I not lost weight.  I MAY win the lottery if I buy a ticket.  I MAY get hit by a bus crossing the street.  One never knows, see what I'm saying?

I've had weight issues my entire life.  I'll be 38 in June.  2 years ago I begin losing the weight I had accumulated over 35 years.  I have lost 100 pounds to date.  Am I proud? Hell yes! I recommend everyone to get healthy.  I just really hate that young girls today put so much emphasis on the NUMBER on the scale, instead of how they feel. Not only do I blame tv, celebrities and the models in the mags basically calling you a fat ass if you wear over a size 6, but I blame the damn doctors who go by that damn guideline stating that if you're 5'6" you should weigh no more than 145 pounds (I'm exaggerating here).  I am 5'6" and I can tell you that if I weighed 145 pounds, I would look sickly. 

As it is now, I think my face is too thin.  I look a little guant at times.  I liked my chubbier, fuller face.  It was me.  I almost feel like a shell now.  Yes, it feels great to not wear a 4X anymore.  It feels fabulous that my husband now weighs more than me :-)
Do I have more energy?  Not really.  I think I'm more self conscious now than I was when I was heavier.  I wonder why that is? 

BEFORE, I was a social butterfly who was constantly out and about.  AFTER, I'm more of a homebody who social networks thru my computer.  You would think the scenerios would be reversed.  Maybe if I had lost the weight years ago it may be different. 

I would love to open this conversation up and dig deep.  I'll answer any questions to the best of my ability and I'll do so honestly.  If I wanted to hide, then I wouldn't blog. 

Here is a "before and after" pic.  See the difference in the face??

Believe me, I'm not complaining.  I'm grateful & proud.  I would love to help anyone out there with advice, an ear to listen or I can be your biggest cheerleader (no pun intended)....

Til next time....

❤xx BE

Mayhem & Sadness

Hmmm ... and my husband wonders why I hate the news.

Very rarely do you see a feel good story. Instead you see this shit. I don't get it. I'm sure no one else does either. I have 3,19 year old nephews and I looked at them today and I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with a range of emotions. I couldn't fathom my "babies" doing something so unimaginable. Something so heinous.

Then I got to thinking of the bombers parents. I saw the father on the news. I heard the mother's translated phone call. If they had no clue, and I don't believe they did, imagine their shock. Imagine their horror and pain. I get the impression that these parents didn't really know their boys at all.

Then I asked myself , Why would you flee YOUR country to find safety and freedom only to show your thanks by blowing up a piece of MINE?? Then I get angry. When I see that sweet, sweet little boys face on the tv, I get angry. When I see that they couldn't be satisfied with only hurting people at the race BUT then had to continue their reign of terror on us - I get pissed!!

Then I have a glass of wine. I think about the family members and I feel sad. Sad for the entire situation. Sad for so many lives lost. Sad for their family. Sad for all the injured, innocent runners & watchers. Sad for America. Again.

Til next time..

❤xx BE

To go or not to go? That is the question!

I went to my 5 year ... I went to my 10 year ... I skipped out on my 15 ... And now it's time for the milestone ~~ My 20 year high school reunion is this year - WTF?!??! and when did I get this old??

I'm still debating on whether or not I will attend. Honestly, If it weren't for 'Myspace' (does anyone still use this??) "Twitter" & "Facebook", I wouldn't even know where these people are or what they're doing. Just because you're "friends" with someone on FB, does NOT mean you're friends in the true sense of the word! I believe that sometimes people confuse this invisible line. A Facebook friend does not always equal a Real-Life friend. Someone "liking" a status update or a picture doesn't necessarily make one a "friend". It could mean that they're being polite or that they're just nosy (like me) :-)

I loved high school. Is that weird?? I had a great high school experience. Good times and now, great memories. 20 years later & we are all really merely acquaintances. People we once knew. Or just someone we went to high school with.

I'm fortunate. I'm still best friends with my high school bestie <3 Believe you me, the Biotch knows toooooo much ;) UNFORTUNATELY (j/k) (or am I ;)?) smartie tart graduated a year early or she'd be going right along with me!! She's the one who gave me my nickname, Bessalina!

There are both pros and cons to attending this reunion. PRO ~ seeing people I genuinely want to see CON ~ seeing people I genuinely never want to see again PRO ~ showing off my 100 pound weight loss ( Hey, I can brag a bit ) CON ~ people asking me how many kids I have ( sensitive subject) , etc etc etc.

So as I end this bl<3g I still don't know of I'm going to bite the bullet and RSVP or if I'm going to sit & wait for the Facebook pics to start rolling in showcasing the wonderful evening, all the while laughing with my high school and lifelong best friend, Angelina.

Til next time...

❤xx BE

Oh what to write about?

I have to admit.. My 2nd post is intimidating me. What do I write about? How do I transition smoothly (while being a- witty/funny or b- sarcastic) from one topic to the next??

I was a blogger virgin until a couple of weeks ago. So I've done a lil research. I've looked at others. Some wrote about their personal lives and various life journeys while others write about celebrities and what have you. I want to write about it all!

I want to talk about my personal journeys. Got married at 27 to be divorced at 33 and remarried at 35. 1st marriage was a complete disaster - from the start. I wasted many years on that relationship to walk away with nothing but debt. Sure I've had break ups in the past. They hurt. Blah blah blah. Nothing compares to the pain of a divorce (other than a death). I guess divorce is a death in a sense.

I wouldn't have made it through that horrible time if it weren't for my best friend - Ang <3. She was my rock and my support. I am a very lucky lady. I come from an amazing family. I have 3 fabulous sisters. I'm blessed to still have BOTH my parents with me. I have loads of beautiful nieces and nephews. And we're all close. We all still live in the same city. Close I tell ya!:)

They say that everything happens for a reason and what's meant to be will be. I believe that. If that marriage hadn't ended, then I wouldn't be where I'm supposed to be. With my husband of 2 1/2 years, Greg. Sure, marriage isn't easy.. but nothing worth anything ever is.

Til next time ~~ S*M*I*L*E

❤ xx Bessalina