I keep typing a line. Then I delete the line. I restart. I delete. You get the picture. There are just so many things I want to talk about and it gets all jumbled! I am trying to be a nice(ER) person, I really am. I also know that while I don't know these celebrities personally, I feel like I do. I read their blogs, their Facebook and Twitter accounts. I watch their homemade videos on Keek and of course I follow the "news" rags.
Pathetic? Maybe, but it's what I love. I want to be Brandi Glanville's BFF! I love her "F*CK OFF" attitude. Probably because I have one too. I want you to read and enjoy my blog, but if I offend you - sorry. It's not intentional - it's just me! I will NOT alter who I am in my blogs!! With that being said, if you don't like curse words, etc., you may want to exit and find another blogger :-(
Ok, so I'll begin now. I detest 2 "celebrities". I loathe Faye Resnick (I think I've said this before). I don't want to talk about her right now. I want to discuss the other woman (aptly titled) , Leann Rimes Cibrian. I realize she LOVES to sue people so I have to tread somewhat lightly here. I can state the facts tho! She not only wrecked 1 marriage but 2. Her interview with Guilanna Rancic made me sick. Oh woe is me Bitch! Really?? It wasn't like she didn't know he was married with 2 small boys. She just didn't care. She saw something she had to have and she took it - plain and simple. I understand that it takes two to tango. I think Eddie Cibrian is a complete dick! Yes he's hot with those sexy lil dimples but so what? He's a lying, cheating, housebitch!! I'll take my chubby, balding hubby over him ANY day of the week!!
I've seen the photos and I read the articles. Leann does appear to be a tad (once again, treading lightly)obsessed with B (and with good reason)! Brandi will wear and outfit or a bikini and within days Leann is copying the look. I mean, B's legs go up, Up, UP and Leann's don't. Leann even copied her hairdo. Stalker much?? And I just HAVE to say : BONUS MOM MY ASS!!! While being a step-parent is a rewarding but sometimes difficult job, Leann uses it to hurt Brandi. She constantly posts pics to her Twitter account, basically taunting B with her own boys! Subscribe to her Twitter page and you'll see firsthand what I'm talking about.
Brandi's book rocked by the way! I wonder when Bonus Mom will write a book telling her side of the story - OH, THAT'S RIGHT..... "Spitfire", her new album does that!! Who needs to write a riveting tell all book when you can yodel your way thru 10 songs??
I am, and always will be, Team Brandi! I don't have much tolerance for homewreckers. Especially vicicious ones who manipulate. I've said it before and I'll say it til I take my last breath - Karma IS a Bitch! Bonus Mom IS getting some karma thrown her way because B's book is a NY Times Bestseller and has been for weeks!! I don't believe "Spitfire" has even reached the top 10 on iTunes?? Can we say Opening Act/no longer headliner?? Can we say kareoke? Maybe she can retire at the ripe ole age of 30 to become a vocal coach?!
Anyway - the moral of this bl<3g is that you reap what you sow. If you don't want your hubby fornicating with the nanny, or with every cocktail waitress in sight, DON'T mess with a married man. IF THEY CHEAT WWIITTHH YOU..... THEY'LL CHEAT OONN YOU!! That's just common fucking sense!
Til next time....
Bessalina
Thursday, May 16, 2013
The EX Factor - The Blindside!
My heart hurts. Not for me, but for a friend of mine. This friend isn't in my close circle of friends, but we "chat" frequently (on Facebook) mostly and I've known her for over 20 years. She's a good girl with a good heart and she got shit on!
I know it's cliche' but it DOES seem that the good ones get screwed, and not always in a good way! This girl has 4 beautiful sons and her jackass of a husband for many years decided to leave her the day after Thanksgiving of last year. Apparently he couldn't keep his dick in his pants over a 49 year old bitch! I can, and will, call her a bitch because while she wasn't the one my friend was married to, she did know about my friend and their children. She just didn't care. She wanted my friends husband and nothing was going to stop her from getting what she wanted. All the while, my beautiful friend knew NOTHING of this affair. It had been going on for a while apparently. She was blindsided.
I bring this topic up to share my story. I, too, was blindsided. The only differences in my girlfriends story and my own is, I didn't have any kids, let alone 4 and my EX husband decided to go younger instead of older. It stings like a bitch no matter how you slice it!
No one truly knows the hurt, anger, disappointment (and all the other adjectives/emotions) one goes thru when they're faced with divorce. I'm only going to relay MY personal experience and my story.
I was with my ex for a total of 10 years, married almost 5. We had no kids. That turned out to be a blessing of sorts. I would hate to have to deal with him for the rest of my life. I thought I loved him, but I married him because I was almost 27 years old and all my friends were either already married and having children, or beginning too. I wanted in on it! Was I head over heels in love? No. I loved the attention he lavished on me and the pedestal he had me on. Until the ring was on the finger and the vows were read. Then, the pedestal was removed and I became Bess, wife. We took each other for granted. He was almost 8 years younger than me and I should have known the differences between us would ultimately destroy us. Funny thing is, HE destroyed us, not our differences. I guess he thought the grass was greener on the other side. I guess it was in this instance.
Besides our arguing and bickering, like most married couples, I thought things were fine. I thought WE were fine. I honestly had no clue that he was THAT unhappy in our marriage. He never told me and he never gave me any indicators. True story. It wasn't that I was blind and just didn't want to see what was before my eyes. I WAS BLINDSIDED!!!
He left for work one Saturday morning, like normal. I had a gut feeling something wasn't right. I couldn't pinpoint it, but I just KNEW something wasn't right. I took a shower and drove to his job. I called him from right outside his job (they were closed already for the day) and asked what he was doing, not letting him know I was right outside. I could see his truck from where I was standing!!! He proceeded to lie to me and tell me that he was putting tires on the truck at that exact moment. REALLY???? I'm looking right at the damn thing!! Well, he was holed up in the back office with the chic who worked across the street from him as a clerk at the local Speedway gas station! I tell ya, when he realized he was "caught", he had the whole shocked "OH FUCK" look on his face! As well as he should have!
Oh, they both swore they were only talking and NOTHING more. I wasn't born yesterday! Even if nothing had happened that day, it either already had or they wanted it too. You could tell. Needless to say, he moved out that very same night. July 28 - the EXACT same day he proposed 6 years earlier, is the day our marriage ended.
I grieved over that marriage like a death. I thought I was a failure. If only I had done this and not this, etc. etc. It was over and I had to except it and move on. After a prescription of Wellbutrin and Clonzepam, I started to feel "normal" again. Hell, we have to do what we have to do to cope! I'm not ashamed to admit I needed help! I don't believe anyone should be! Mental meds should not be so taboo. We all need a coping mechanism at times and that was mine. And it helped!
Fast forward 5 years later. My ex husband who once told me "I always wanted kids, just not with you" (IT'S A LINE I WILL NEVER, EVER FORGET) is now a father to twin girls. With a 22 year old girl. His age difference to her was mine to him. More power to them! I wish them luck and happiness... who am I kidding? I'm not that nice. He wasn't nice in any of this, why do I need to be? I'm SO fucking tired of people saying, "be the bigger person". I don't want to be, and I don't have to be. He hurt me. He destroyed anything we had built together or the plans we had made. He wasted 10 years of my life on a lie - A LIE! All I was left with was heartache and a mountain of debt when it was all said and done. Oh - and he immediately left the Speedway chic after our run in....
So, now, I'm 37 (38 in 2 weeks). I've re-married. He's an amazing man and I'm very blessed. I know things happen for a reason. Greg was meant to be my husband, not assface! I'm still childless and I probably always will be. The 10 years I could have been trying to become a mom are gone. I can't get them back. I hate him for that. He's a father now but I'll never know what being a mommy is like. I know you shouldn't have hate for anyone, but sometimes it can't be helped. I have forgiven the entire thing, but I'll never forget, even though I've moved on.
My husband and I have tried fertility. We started trying immediately after marrying in 2010. My husband wants a baby with me and will tell anyone who listens. Hmmm, I guess there is something to be said about marrying an older, more mature man! We've done 1 round of artificial insemination and the hormones were brutal. I became a different, HATEFUL person! Needless to say, it didn't take. It's an expensive process so I'm not sure how long we'll try or what decisions we'll make. All I know is, Greg will tell everyone that "I want kids with this beautiful woman and I hope they (more than 1) look just like her". He gets ahead of himself :-) Ha!
Only time will tell where this journey of ours takes us. My advice is this, never take anyone, anything or any situation for granted. It could all end in a blink of an eye. Most of all, be honest. If my ex would of came to me and just said he wasn't happy (or whatever the case may be), things may have turned out differently. We still would have gotten divorced but it didn't have to end so nasty.
The hardest part of all is seeing your ex out and about with his new family and you're not sure whether to run and hide or simply ignore. I tend to be the type who can't ignore. My mouth LOVES to run (hey, I'm working on it). Am I jealous he has a new family? Not the girlfriend, No. I'm jealous and PISSED OFF that he gets to be a daddy when I feel he robbed me of being a mommy. In reality, he didn't. It's not his fault my eggs are retarded. It's just easier to blame him - LOL.
I could go on and on but you get the gist of my 1st marriage. I wish my friend all the love and support in the world. She'll need a shoulder to cry, scream, vent, throw things (or was that just me)? :-) If it weren't for my family and especially my Best Friend, I wouldn't have made it. I was in a messed up state for a few months (or a year, but who's keeping track)?!
Divorce IS like a death. I mean, the relationship and the marriage HAS died. You grieve, you cope and deal and move on. And believe you me, the last half of 2007 SUCKED! My ex left me July 28th and my brother in law passed away in September! It was just a horrible time in mine and my families lives. My sister and I were grieving simultaniously and my parents were beside themselves with not 1, but 2 brokenhearted daughters.
NO ONE and I mean NO ONE should ever be blindsided in a relationship, let alone a marriage. Some of us mean those vows when we say them and we hold them sacred.
Karma IS in fact the biggest Bitch of them all, so I'm assuming what went around will in fact, go around. In time...
Til next time...
Bessalina
I know it's cliche' but it DOES seem that the good ones get screwed, and not always in a good way! This girl has 4 beautiful sons and her jackass of a husband for many years decided to leave her the day after Thanksgiving of last year. Apparently he couldn't keep his dick in his pants over a 49 year old bitch! I can, and will, call her a bitch because while she wasn't the one my friend was married to, she did know about my friend and their children. She just didn't care. She wanted my friends husband and nothing was going to stop her from getting what she wanted. All the while, my beautiful friend knew NOTHING of this affair. It had been going on for a while apparently. She was blindsided.
I bring this topic up to share my story. I, too, was blindsided. The only differences in my girlfriends story and my own is, I didn't have any kids, let alone 4 and my EX husband decided to go younger instead of older. It stings like a bitch no matter how you slice it!
No one truly knows the hurt, anger, disappointment (and all the other adjectives/emotions) one goes thru when they're faced with divorce. I'm only going to relay MY personal experience and my story.
I was with my ex for a total of 10 years, married almost 5. We had no kids. That turned out to be a blessing of sorts. I would hate to have to deal with him for the rest of my life. I thought I loved him, but I married him because I was almost 27 years old and all my friends were either already married and having children, or beginning too. I wanted in on it! Was I head over heels in love? No. I loved the attention he lavished on me and the pedestal he had me on. Until the ring was on the finger and the vows were read. Then, the pedestal was removed and I became Bess, wife. We took each other for granted. He was almost 8 years younger than me and I should have known the differences between us would ultimately destroy us. Funny thing is, HE destroyed us, not our differences. I guess he thought the grass was greener on the other side. I guess it was in this instance.
Besides our arguing and bickering, like most married couples, I thought things were fine. I thought WE were fine. I honestly had no clue that he was THAT unhappy in our marriage. He never told me and he never gave me any indicators. True story. It wasn't that I was blind and just didn't want to see what was before my eyes. I WAS BLINDSIDED!!!
He left for work one Saturday morning, like normal. I had a gut feeling something wasn't right. I couldn't pinpoint it, but I just KNEW something wasn't right. I took a shower and drove to his job. I called him from right outside his job (they were closed already for the day) and asked what he was doing, not letting him know I was right outside. I could see his truck from where I was standing!!! He proceeded to lie to me and tell me that he was putting tires on the truck at that exact moment. REALLY???? I'm looking right at the damn thing!! Well, he was holed up in the back office with the chic who worked across the street from him as a clerk at the local Speedway gas station! I tell ya, when he realized he was "caught", he had the whole shocked "OH FUCK" look on his face! As well as he should have!
Oh, they both swore they were only talking and NOTHING more. I wasn't born yesterday! Even if nothing had happened that day, it either already had or they wanted it too. You could tell. Needless to say, he moved out that very same night. July 28 - the EXACT same day he proposed 6 years earlier, is the day our marriage ended.
I grieved over that marriage like a death. I thought I was a failure. If only I had done this and not this, etc. etc. It was over and I had to except it and move on. After a prescription of Wellbutrin and Clonzepam, I started to feel "normal" again. Hell, we have to do what we have to do to cope! I'm not ashamed to admit I needed help! I don't believe anyone should be! Mental meds should not be so taboo. We all need a coping mechanism at times and that was mine. And it helped!
Fast forward 5 years later. My ex husband who once told me "I always wanted kids, just not with you" (IT'S A LINE I WILL NEVER, EVER FORGET) is now a father to twin girls. With a 22 year old girl. His age difference to her was mine to him. More power to them! I wish them luck and happiness... who am I kidding? I'm not that nice. He wasn't nice in any of this, why do I need to be? I'm SO fucking tired of people saying, "be the bigger person". I don't want to be, and I don't have to be. He hurt me. He destroyed anything we had built together or the plans we had made. He wasted 10 years of my life on a lie - A LIE! All I was left with was heartache and a mountain of debt when it was all said and done. Oh - and he immediately left the Speedway chic after our run in....
So, now, I'm 37 (38 in 2 weeks). I've re-married. He's an amazing man and I'm very blessed. I know things happen for a reason. Greg was meant to be my husband, not assface! I'm still childless and I probably always will be. The 10 years I could have been trying to become a mom are gone. I can't get them back. I hate him for that. He's a father now but I'll never know what being a mommy is like. I know you shouldn't have hate for anyone, but sometimes it can't be helped. I have forgiven the entire thing, but I'll never forget, even though I've moved on.
My husband and I have tried fertility. We started trying immediately after marrying in 2010. My husband wants a baby with me and will tell anyone who listens. Hmmm, I guess there is something to be said about marrying an older, more mature man! We've done 1 round of artificial insemination and the hormones were brutal. I became a different, HATEFUL person! Needless to say, it didn't take. It's an expensive process so I'm not sure how long we'll try or what decisions we'll make. All I know is, Greg will tell everyone that "I want kids with this beautiful woman and I hope they (more than 1) look just like her". He gets ahead of himself :-) Ha!
Only time will tell where this journey of ours takes us. My advice is this, never take anyone, anything or any situation for granted. It could all end in a blink of an eye. Most of all, be honest. If my ex would of came to me and just said he wasn't happy (or whatever the case may be), things may have turned out differently. We still would have gotten divorced but it didn't have to end so nasty.
The hardest part of all is seeing your ex out and about with his new family and you're not sure whether to run and hide or simply ignore. I tend to be the type who can't ignore. My mouth LOVES to run (hey, I'm working on it). Am I jealous he has a new family? Not the girlfriend, No. I'm jealous and PISSED OFF that he gets to be a daddy when I feel he robbed me of being a mommy. In reality, he didn't. It's not his fault my eggs are retarded. It's just easier to blame him - LOL.
I could go on and on but you get the gist of my 1st marriage. I wish my friend all the love and support in the world. She'll need a shoulder to cry, scream, vent, throw things (or was that just me)? :-) If it weren't for my family and especially my Best Friend, I wouldn't have made it. I was in a messed up state for a few months (or a year, but who's keeping track)?!
Divorce IS like a death. I mean, the relationship and the marriage HAS died. You grieve, you cope and deal and move on. And believe you me, the last half of 2007 SUCKED! My ex left me July 28th and my brother in law passed away in September! It was just a horrible time in mine and my families lives. My sister and I were grieving simultaniously and my parents were beside themselves with not 1, but 2 brokenhearted daughters.
NO ONE and I mean NO ONE should ever be blindsided in a relationship, let alone a marriage. Some of us mean those vows when we say them and we hold them sacred.
Karma IS in fact the biggest Bitch of them all, so I'm assuming what went around will in fact, go around. In time...
Til next time...
Bessalina
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